A "Gift"

It's hard to sum up an experience as intense and personal as my yoga teacher training course. It was three straight weeks of health and wellness boot camp: hours of daily yoga practice, meditation, chanting, Sanskrit, culture, nutrition and more. I transformed myself physically and emotionally and met incredibly brave, heart-warming people who I now call my dear friends. I know that I have barely begun to scratch the surface of processing all that I went through, but I keep returning to something that we talked about on our very first day.  It's the idea that each of us has a "gift." 

When we first met each other, our lead instructor, David, asked us to introduce ourselves and to be honest as we shared. "What gifts do you have?" he asked.  As we went around the sticky studio, each person spoke about the hardships, the life experiences that involved struggle, pain, hurt and fear. We all had them. Whether it was an eating disorder, a parent divorce, or anxiety, each and every one of us had something in our core that has been part of a destructive pattern. 

At first, it seemed truly sad to me that these beautiful people have had to experience so much negativity in their lives - myself in included. But now, looking back on it, I really understand that it takes unbelievable self power to figure out how to master your own history and turn it around. It is a magnificent thing to figure out how to pull yourself up, get out of your own way, and live the life you really want to life. 

I now understand the idea of a "gift" so much more. It's that positive outcome that arises after working so hard to tackle your own monsters. Coming out, into the light, after having been in a dark tunnel, means that you know the way into the sunshine and that you can help others look for their exit points too.  A hurdle becomes a "gift" when you take back control and put it in its place, off in corner of your life - somewhere far enough for freedom but close enough to act as a reminder of how much maintenance it takes to stay happy and healthy in the present.

My three week yoga training was what I needed to turn my hurtful history into a "gift."  I now feel proud, realizing how much compassion I have to offer others. It is a sincerity that cannot be taught, but only gained through a personal journey. I feel stronger than I have ever felt, knowing that I have a beautiful, organic gift to share with the world. It's no longer scary. My gift is so so pretty and I imagine it's handmade, crafty and has birds stamped on it somewhere. What a stunning, joyful "gift" it is.

Photo from: http://simplyhealthyfam.blogspot.com/